


Worst. Idea. Ever.

by TeddysHoney



Category: Glee
Genre: Dirty Conversation, Drinking, Embarrassment, M/M, Monopoly (Board Game), Student/Teacher Role Play (Mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeddysHoney/pseuds/TeddysHoney
Summary: Kurt goes to Rachel's to help calm her nerves before her opening night, and Blaine decides to have a party at his and Kurt's apartment with the New York Bros. Things...don't go as planned.*This is a season 5 canon-divergent story. That's explained more in the author's note.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Sam Evans/Mercedes Jones
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31
Collections: Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020





	Worst. Idea. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Season 5 canon-divergent story. Finn hasn’t died, Blaine has graduated, and he and Kurt got their own place instead of moving in with everyone else. Finn is with Rachel, and they live together. Sam and Mercedes are together and live with Artie. Quinn and Puck are together, and they’re close enough to come into the city in the evening.

In retrospect, Blaine realized he should not have agreed to play Monopoly with the guys. When Kurt had announced that he was going to have to spend the night at Rachel’s to keep her from freaking out about her opening night, he should have welcomed an evening to himself to do whatever he wanted. He could have enjoyed a box of cronuts, watched Star Wars, and had a great night by himself. Instead, he’d stupidly texted the rest of the New York bros, including Finn, and invited them over for a game night. And now, he was lying in the dark on his and Kurt’s bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to everyone around him snore, and regretting every minute of the last 24 hours.

***Flashback***

Kurt hung up the phone with a loud sigh. “Ugh. I’m going to have to go over to Rachel’s tonight.” 

Blaine was lying on their bed on his stomach, flipping absently through the latest edition of Vogue. When Kurt announced this, however, he looked up, pouting. “Why?”

“She’s freaking out about her opening night tomorrow. She’s been on all the Broadway gossip blogs and that terrible Facebook group that is always talking shit on NYADA students. I’m pretty sure she’s going to choke tomorrow if she doesn’t stop. I need to go over there and make sure that she stays off the internet and on vocal rest. Finn can’t handle her when she’s like this; he’s an absolute mess himself.”

“But I was hoping to spend the night with you,” Blaine said, making sad eyes in Kurt’s direction. “How will I sleep without my Kurt snuggles?”

“I’m sure you can manage for one night,” Kurt assured him, stopping to give Blaine’s forehead a kiss on his way to the closet to pack an overnight bag. “I need to leave soon. Maybe you could invite Finn over, get him out of our hair for a while?”

Blaine considered this. Then, he asked, “What would you say if I had a party?”

“What kind of party?”

“LIke a party with the New York bros? Pizza and video games? You know, the guy stuff that you don’t like.”

“No football or basketball on to watch this time of year?”

“Kurt, it’s summer! Football and basketball are not summer sports.”

“So, sports don’t exist in the summer?” Kurt asked, bringing a large stack of clothes over to the bed to pack.

“It’s baseball season!” Blaine said, exasperated. “And, why do you need  _ that  _ many clothes? You’re just spending one night, right?”

“You never know what Rachel is going to demand we do,” Kurt replied, continuing to fold his outfits. “I have to be prepared for anything.”

“You’re too nice to her,” Blaine observed. “Maybe you love her more than you love me.” He pooched out his bottom lip, staring at Kurt sadly. 

Kurt laughed at that. “Hardly,” he replied, leaning in to kiss Blaine’s pouty lip. “I could never love anyone more than I love you. Except maybe my dad. And our future kids.”

“Kurt, that’s meeeeeaaaan!”   
  


“I’m sorry,” Kurt chuckled. “I love you the most.” He kissed him again, more passionately this time, letting the kiss linger for a few moments before he pulled away to finish packing.

Blaine flopped on his back. That kiss had made him all turned on, and now, he definitely didn’t want Kurt to leave him for the night. “Do you have to go?” he asked. “I can think of something far more fun that I have and Rachel doesn’t.” He slid off the bed, going behind Kurt to grind gently into his hip, showing him exactly what  _ that  _ was.

“Mmm,” Kurt answered, pausing his packing to kiss Blaine again, this one far dirtier than the last. “As much as I’d love to stay here and explore all the things you have, I promised Rachel I’d be over there in a hurry. But…” he added, “tomorrow, as soon as I drop Rachel off at the theater, I promise I’ll spend the entire day with you, doing whatever. You want. To do.” He punctuated the last of his sentence with a fresh kiss down Blaine’s neck. “Now, text the ‘New York bros.’ Have your party. Just don’t party so hard you can’t spend time with me tomorrow.”

With a smile, Blaine nodded, kissing the tender spot just behind Kurt’s earlobe. “Deal,” he whispered. Then, he flopped on the bed and pulled out his phone. He typed out a text that read,  _ “Party at my house! Kurt’s spending the night with Rachel, so we’re having pizza and video games. You can come over whenever you want.” _

A few minutes later, he got a text back from Artie:  _ “Already rollin’ your way!” _

Sam:  _ “I’m with Artie. Wait. Should we go back and grab anything? Snacks? Movies?” _

Finn:  _ “Thank God I don’t have to stay here. I’ll be there as soon as Kurt gets here. Tell him to hurry up!” _

Puck:  _ “Wait for me, my dudes. I have to catch the train.” _

Elliot:  _ “Count me in.” _

“Sounds like everyone’s coming over,” Blaine confirmed as Kurt came back from the bathroom with all of his products. “I’m going to have fun while you deal with a pouty Rachel.” He stuck his tongue out at his fiancé, grinning when Kurt swatted at his shoulder.

“Have your fun,” Kurt replied good-naturedly. “You deserve it.” He grabbed his overnight bag, swinging it onto his shoulder. “Walk me to the door?”   
  


“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.”

*

Kurt and Blaine’s living room was full of guys about an hour after Kurt had left. It was still mid-afternoon, but they decided to get started with a Mario Kart tournament anyway. That lasted until dinner time, at which point they began to argue about what type of pizza to get and from where. It was eventually decided that no one besides Blaine was in the mood for an artisanal pizza, and Elliot ordered four pies and two two-liters of soda from a Pizza Hut a few blocks away. While they waited on their food, they played a few games of Call of Duty where they spent most of their time trying to hide from each other so as not to get killed. None of them were very good at it.

When the pizza arrived, Blaine pulled out the solo cups, prompting Sam to start singing his favorite Toby Keith song, and the paper plates. They all sat on the floor around the coffee table, eating greasy pizza and drinking cokes. They chatted about nothing important, sharing the latest gossip about their classmates at school and what they’d heard was going on back at McKinley. It was just as they were reaching that stage of being full and happy that Puck gave them all the worst idea ever. At least it was in retrospect.

“We should play this new kind of Monopoly Quinn and I learned about at our last party at Harvard,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “You play truth or dare whenever you land on somebody else’s property. If you can’t pay, you have to do the dare or lose a piece of clothing.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I wonder if some of our more “lady” friends here could handle it.” He looked directly at Blaine and Elliot as he said this.

“I could handle it,” Elliot said, shrugging. “Blaine?”

“Um, yeah,” he said, trying to sound far more relaxed than he felt. He’d played games like this with the guys before. It never went well.

“Everybody else in?” Puck asked, looking around the rest of the circle. When everyone nodded, he stood up. “Anderson, get the alcohol. I’ll get the game.”

It didn’t take long for everyone to get settled with a mixed drink of their choice or a beer from the fridge. Elliot was elected as banker, and everyone selected their piece, putting it on the start square. It took a few rounds before anyone landed on another person’s property. The first victim was Finn, landing on one of Puck’s spots.

“Truth or dare, Hudson?” Puck asked, excitement on his face.

“Uh, truth,” Finn decided.

“You and Rachel have fucked in every room of that apartment,” Puck said, grinning widely.

“Oh my God. Don’t answer that!” Blaine said loudly, covering his ears. “Kurt’s over there right now, and I do not want to think about that.”

“He has to, dude. Them’s the rules.”

Finn blushed deeply as he nodded. “Yeah.”

Blaine pretended to dry heave, and everyone else around the circle laughed loudly. The game continued on for a few more rounds before Elliot landed on one of Artie’s properties.

“Truth or dare?” Artie asked.

“Um, dare,” Elliot decided as Sam and Puck whooped loudly.

“I dare you to make out with one of the guys here,” Artie announced.

“Dude, that’s not even a dare,” Elliot said. He leaned across the circle to Sam and kissed him a few times. “There. See? Not hard.”

Sam held up his hands. “Nobody can tell Mercedes about this. Remember, what happens at bro night stays at bro night.” 

Everyone agreed, nodding. Then, the game continued. The next truth or dare victim was Blaine.

“Truth or dare,” Sam asked.

“Truth.”

“Admit that you used to dream about banging me when we were in high school.”

Blaine scoffed. “I did not dream about banging you.”

“Well, you thought about it at least.”

“Fine. Yes,” Blaine said. He already hated this game, and that was his first question. 

As the night went on, the dares got more and more ballsy and the truths got more and more graphic as everyone consumed more alcohol and loosened up. Blaine even caught himself having some fun, giggling and laughing at the other guys as they took their truth or dare turns. He was getting plenty of questions asked of himself, and he wasn’t being as careful as he normally would have been since his guard was down.

“How many times do you and Kurt have sex every week?”

“At least five.”

“Have you ever had a problem getting it up?”

“Ha! My cock is always hard and ready for action.”

“I dare you to put a pair of Kurt’s dirty underwear on your head.”

“I dare you to pretend this pillow is Kurt and pretend to have sex with it.”

If Blaine had been paying more attention, he realized as he lay in the dark later that night, he might have realized that he was getting low on money and backed out of the game. If he’d been a little less drunk, he might have realized he had the least number of properties on the board, and he was pretty much guaranteed to owe rent on every turn. But, Blaine didn’t notice any of that. Instead, he was caught by surprise when Sam declared he owed $750 dollars in rent on St. Charles Place with a hotel. He looked down at his money. He had one $100, a $5, and three $1’s. Damn it. “Don’t have enough,” he said, looking over at Sam.

“Oooh! I’ve been waiting for this all night!” Puck said, rubbing his hands together evilly. “Okay, Anderson. It’s either a piece of clothing or a dare! And, socks count as one item.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“I think I’ll just go bankrupt,” Blaine said. “You guys play.”   
  


“That’s not how this version works!” Puck said. “You have to do the dare or lose the clothes.”

“Fine. Clothes.”

“What’ll it be, Sam?”

“Shirt,” Sam said. “Blaine’s got those boxer arms that I want to see.”

“Fine,” Blaine relented, peeling his shirt off. That wasn’t so bad. Plus, he was wearing an undershirt. He’d just avoid landing on anyone else’s property for a while until he’d saved up some money. Unfortunately, Fate was not on his side.

“Blaine, you owe me $700 on Kentucky,” Elliot said. 

“Damn it,” Blaine muttered under his breath. “Can’t.”

“How about a dare?” Elliot offered. “I’ll make it easy on you.” He felt kind of bad for Blaine. The guy wasn’t exactly known for being the best at board games, and he had a tendency to make some silly choices when he was drunk and relaxed. 

“Uh, sure,” Blaine said, smiling.

“I dare you to call Kurt and tell him you love him,” Elliot said, smiling.

“Okay!” Blaine grabbed his phone from its spot beneath the coffee table and tapped on Kurt’s name in his speed dial.

Kurt picked up after only a few rings. “Hey. How’s bro night?” he asked.

“‘S good,” Blane told him. “We had pizza, an’ now, we’re playin’ Monop’ly.”

“Are you drunk?” Kurt chuckled. “Why am I not surprised?”

“‘M ‘sposed to tell you I love you,” Blaine said. “Elliot dared me.”

“Elliot dared you to tell me you love me in the middle of a Monopoly game?” Kurt asked. “I mean, I love you, too, but what kind of Monopoly are you playing?”

“Puck says ‘s Truth ‘n’ Dare Monop’ly.”

“Okay. Well, you have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you, Kurt.”   
  


“Bye.”

“There!” Blaine said, hanging up the phone. “All done!” He was happy he’d gotten to talk to Kurt. His fiancé always made him feel warm and jittery inside, especially when he’d been drinking.

On his next turn, Blaine landed on one of Puck’s properties: Atlantic Avenue, completed with a hotel.

“$1150,” Puck announced happily, bouncing a little as Blaine glared at him. “Okay. Okay. I dare you to tell us the complete story of the best orgasm you ever had,” Puck said. “And, you have to demonstrate how you and Kurt sounded and what you did and stuff.”

“No.” Blaine shook his head stubbornly. He might not have $1150, but he knew he was absolutely not going to do that.

“Fine. Lose your pants then,” Puck said. He leaned in conspiratorially to add, “And, I know you’re not wearing underwear because when you went to go get another drink earlier, your sweats slid halfway down your ass. There was nothin’!”

Blaine gulped. That was true. He wasn’t wearing underwear. He’d just slipped into sweat pants that morning when he and Kurt had gotten out of bed, and Artie and Sam had arrived not long after Kurt had left for Rachel’s. He hadn’t had time to change. Now he had to decide which of the two evils was better: describing in detail his best orgasm ever or being naked from the waist down in front of the New York Bros. He decided to go with the story.

A deep blush spread over his cheeks as he said, “Th’s one time, Kur’ an’ I were role-playin’ as teacher ‘n’ student, an’--”

“I knew you guys were kinky fuckers!” Puck roared. “Which one of you wore the Catholic schoolgirl uniform?”

“Neither of us! We  _ like _ cocks, ‘member?” He knew that alcohol made him far more chatty than usual, and if he was being honest, he wasn’t completely aware of what he was saying whenever he opened his mouth. Words just kinda came out without him thinking. For confidence, he took another long swig of his Rum and Coke. It slid down easily, and he continued, “Kur’ w’s the teacher, an’ I w’s the  _ naughty _ schoolboy.”

Everyone around the circle leaned in, looking at Blaine and listening intently.

“Kur’ said I could go to the princ’pal or take an  _ unusual _ pun’shment from ‘im. I picked him, so he made me...getnakedandsuckhiscockthentakeaspankingoverhisdesk.”

“He did what?” Puck asked. “Repeat that!”

“He made me get  _ naked _ and suck his  _ cock _ then take a spankin’ over ‘is desk!” Blaine declared louder. “It was the fuckin’  _ hottest _ thing ever, an’ when he finally fucked me after the spankin’, I came  _ so _ hard…” His cock was getting incredibly hard just thinking about it, and he palmed at himself a bit through his pants. 

“And, that’s the end of the game,” Elliot declared, tipping the board over and spilling the pieces across the floor. “I know way more about my friends’ sex lives than I’ve ever wanted to know!”

“Agreed!” Finn said. “Kurt’s my brother, man! Why’d you have to go and tell us that?”

“It w’s a dare!” Blaine yelled. “Puck made me!”

“I didn’t think you’d actually tell us,” Puck said, holding up his hands in self-defense. “Who wants another Mario Kart tournament?”

“Me! I call first round,” Sam shouted, scrambling to clean up the board game.

After that, no one else talked about any more of their dirty secrets. Blaine didn’t feel much like playing Mario Kart, so he sat on the end of the couch, watching everyone else play as they continued drinking and having a great time. Blaine switched to water. After telling that story, he didn’t feel like drinking anymore.

Finally, everyone passed out around 3 a.m., everyone except for Blaine. 

***Present time***

Blaine lay awake, thinking about what he’d admitted to his friends and how pissed at him Kurt was definitely going to be. It was hard to get his brain to shut off, especially after that much alcohol. His brain magnified everything, sending it swirling through his head over and over again for him to fixate on and obsess over. Eventually, his eyes got too tired to stay open, and he drifted mercifully off to sleep.

When he woke the next morning, it was too gentle kisses on his cheeks and forehead. When he opened his eyes, he saw Kurt sitting next to him on the bed, smiling lightly. He groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Good morning, sleepy,” Kurt said, chuckling. “Well, I guess it’s afternoon now.”

“Oh my God,” Blaine muttered. “When did you get here?”

“About half an hour ago. I’d have come back to check on you sooner, but Finn had to tell me an interesting story.”

“Ugh…” Blaine moaned. He peeked out from beneath his arm with one eye. “Are you mad? I’m sorry I told them. It’s just...I was drunk, and Puck told me I had to tell the story or take off my pants! But, Kurt, I wasn’t wearing any underwear, and I didn’t want to show off my cock because that’s yours, and--” He stopped speaking when Kurt covered his mouth with a soft kiss, silencing him.

“It’s okay, Blaine. I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

“No. Do I wish you’d told that story? No. But was it hilarious to see Finn’s face when he told me that story? Hell yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine whispered again.

“Don’t be sorry,” Kurt assured him, kissing him again. “Besides. I think you left out the best part.”

“Really?”

“You didn’t tell them that the reason you got that spanking was because you didn’t wear any underwear to school; that’s considered teasing the teacher. Remember?”

Blaine nodded, feeling himself begin to stiffen.

“And, you didn’t tell them that you licked up every. Single. Drop. of cum from my orgasm after your perfect blowjob,” Kurt said, beginning to mouth down the side of Blaine’s neck, stopping to suckle at the tender spot where his shoulder met his neck. “And, you didn’t tell them about how you--mmm--how you…” Kurt couldn’t finish his sentence as Blaine had started to kiss along Kurt’s shoulder, up his neck, and was mouthing at the tender spot behind his earlobe.

“I have to tell you something,” Blaine breathed into his ear.

“What’s that?” Kurt asked, more breath than sound.

“I didn’t wear any underwear to class today either, Professor Hummel.”

Kurt grinned, biting Blaine lightly on the spot where he’d been sucking just a moment before. Then, he growled in Blaine’s ear, “Strip and get on those knees, Mr. Anderson.”

“Yes, sir,” Blaine answered back.


End file.
